GUEST EDIT: Motherhood Love with Deauvanne

I never thought I would have children to be honest. It was never on my radar! I was more interested in my career, friends, travelling, anything else. A baby just didn’t factor into my fun-filled life.When some of my friends started having babies I switched off. My eyes glazing over as they fawned over photos of their offspring describing in detail when and where the picture had been taken. I was put out when our regular catch-ups were rescheduled due to ‘sleep routines’.

I was the person rolling my eyes as a mum came on the plane with a baby and proceeded to sit in front of me or if I had to manoeuvre around a pram in the supermarket. I never actually ‘saw’ babies in hindsight. Yes I would look at them but I never actually ‘saw’ them. I would recoil in fear if one was placed in arms scared that some strange baby juice would rub off on me and I might end up with one.

When I met my husband, he mentioned early on in the relationship that he wanted a baby. He even had a name picked out. I was always very evasive, changing the subject. I just didn’t think I was the mothering type. Then on a trip to London I found out that I was pregnant. I was completely and utterly in shock but also strangely excited. It was all I could think about. When I returned to Sydney my husband and I went for routine scans and check-ups. That’s when it happened. Life as I knew it changed forever.

As soon as I saw my little baby on the monitor all my doubts, insecurities and fears disappeared. I realised that this was what I wanted. Unfortunately we lost the baby but luckily I became pregnant with my son a few months later, he is now nearly 3 years old. I haven’t slept properly in about 4 years. My day long shopping trips have been replaced with internet shopping. Our holidays are now kid-friendly and our idea of a big night out is being in bed by 11pm! Yet I wouldn’t have it any other way. In fact I love being a mum so much I have just had another one. A little girl this time.

I am socialising now with my friends with kids that I used to avoid and I’ve made lots of new ones through my son at preschool, play dates, mothers group, swim class, footy. I live for family time with my husband and our children. They are my world. Some of my friends have fallen by the wayside as I get swept up in motherhood. I completely understand because that was me. I am now officially one of those mothers who bore people with pictures of their offspring. My transformation is complete.

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